You're killing me

Colbert King comes to the defense of Courtland Milloy, arguing that the problem is not what Milloy wrote, but that all cyclists are humorless. I suppose there is something about frequent exposure to bicycle grease that changes our brains so that we no longer find references to cyclists being attacked funny?

The title says that cyclists can't take criticism. But of course, that isn't the problem. There was no mass protest of John Kelly's column on how cyclists need to change their sidewalk cycling ways. Twitter didn't blow up and King didn't feel the need to come to Kelly's defense because there was no one to defend him from. Cyclists can take constructive criticism. 

King talks about a time when he offended cyclists back in 2002 by also calling them terrorists.

I hope that they will do something about the threat to life and limb that lurks in Rock Creek Park and on trails and paths around the Washington area. I am referring to those infernal bikers who persist in converting public space into their personal Tour de France race every Saturday and Sunday. They are as dangerous as anthrax. And just as sneaky. They come up on you without warning. And they show no regard for their targets. Joggers, bird-lovers, moms with toddlers, seniors with pet dogs, it doesn’t matter. We are all fair game for those terrorists on wheels. 

To be fair, in the 12 years since then, approximately zero pedestrians have been killed by cyclists in Rock Creek Park. [But there have been several fatal car crashes]. So his fear was well-founded. 

The written commentaries published online showed the bikers to be as rabid and self-righteous in July 2002 as they are now. 

He called us rabid and self-righteous. Hysterical! Terrorists. What a clever turn of phrase! A broomstick through the front wheel? Who doesn't love physical comedy?! Paying $500 to hit another person with your car and possibly cripple or kill them? That's as old, and as funny, as a man dressing up as a woman (a joke Milloy totally gets). When did Bill Cosby start writing for the Post?

Good stuff. Seriously, I'm dying.

Or at least some cyclists are. 

Comments

[Greenbelt]

I think bike snob NYC got it about right:

It's not exactly like saying it might be worth shooting at people in hoodies since you're unlikely to be convicted, but it's not all that different either.

http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2014/07/ask-local-gentry-and-they-will-say-its.html

[Kathy]

"approximately zero pedestrians"???? What does that mean? Is that like "practically pregnant"?

Other than that, I like the post.

[jeffb]

Colbert King just needs to get his page read count up as well. Got envious that Courtland was getting to many pats on the back.

My guess is that Jeff Bezo's internet style performance measures are starting to have an effect.

[Greenbelt]

In my opinion, both Colbert and Courtland are douche first names. That annoys me. Maybe, just maybe someone should beat them up for that -- they probably won't get caught or prosecuted.

Actually that probably happened in school many decades ago...

[SJE]

Sorry to be humorless, but I don't find it funny when someone explicitly condones physical violence against me.

[washcycle]

Sorry to be humorless...

I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the hospital bed after having their hip surgically reconstructed due to a collision with a car.

[Greenbelt]

Just joking.

[Greenbelt]

Comments coming in at the WABA forum about cyclists getting "Milloy'd"

Seems like an appropriate term, although C-douche would probably approve.

[dynaryder]

Hey everyone,let's play bingo!

http://imgur.com/f5EzI9j

[Joe]

The bingo is actually funny! I'll have to see how many days it takes to fill the card.

[marcanthonyryan@gmail.com]

it was soo hilarious when i got sent to the ER with a concussion almost died by an admitted texting driver on the capitol crescent. Really #LOL! My kids almost got that life insurance policy and i'm sure the laugh would have been worth it - who needs a dad anyway?!?! right!? LOL! Soooo funnnny!
thanks for sharing!

[Early Man]

Since the Washington Post is so into promoting civil discourse through civil disobedience ("got a problem with a biker--hit them with your car") here is a nonviolent civil disobedience suggestion. Got a problem with the Washington Post--man it sure would be a shame if I spilled my Starbucks all over those hot off the press gems in that newspaper rack. It only costs $0.50 and nobody gets killed or maimed.

[contrarian]

Since the Washington Post is so into promoting civil discourse through civil disobedience ("got a problem with a biker--hit them with your car") here is a nonviolent civil disobedience suggestion. Got a problem with the Washington Post--man it sure would be a shame if I spilled my Starbucks all over those hot off the press gems in that newspaper rack. It only costs $0.50 and nobody gets killed or maimed.

And it's almost impossible to get caught, and even if you did you could claim it was an accident and nobody could prove it wasn't, and it would only cost you the cost of the papers.

After all, I read in the Post recently that some behaviors are so egregious that some people might think it’s worth paying the fine to punish them using vigilanteism. Or something like that.

[Michael H.]

Bike terrorists? Milloy is so tone-deaf that he doesn't even recognize how cold-hearted and blood-thirsty his rant comes across as. Last weekend (Independence Day), car drivers killed six people in the greater D.C. area, including a 3-yr-old and a 13-yr-old. But Milloy doesn't mention that. Doesn't seem to bother him in the least. Maybe he thinks the 3-yr-old... deserved it?

Maybe he thinks all of the pedestrians, cyclists and other drivers who continue to get killed every week and month, in the D.C. area and nationwide, all deserve it.

Terrorism implies the threat of injury and death. Well Milloy, then why doesn't speeding, red light running, failure to yield to pedestrians in crosswalks, texting while driving, drunk driving and more, by car drivers, qualify as terrorism? There is a very real threat of injury and death to members of the public. People even get killed while sitting at a bus stop on a sidewalk, by car drivers. Do they deserve to die too, Mr. Milloy? And Mr. King? Do they?